What a Spotify Event Reminded Me About Rejection

We love a good mind-made story - even when it's nonsense.

I went to a Spotify event one evening last week (interesting developments afoot in the podcast world), and was briefly reminded of a really interesting universal phenomenon.

I was flying solo, as were many other invitees, and so I had to introduce myself to lots of people I had not met before. I noticed some other people on their own seemed somewhat tense and hyper alert, seemingly reluctant to go and do the same - and understandably so.

It is interesting to notice the sensations arising when you have to 'put yourself out there'. There are invariably reactions in the body as the brain and nervous system automatically tries to gauge how each interaction is going.

And sometimes, when someone excuses themself, there may even be a slight feeling of 'rejection'.

The fear of rejection and the quest for acceptance and approval is such a big driver of human behaviour, whether at work or in our personal relationships - even when we just send an email and certainly when we post on social media.

Typically a sensation arises in the body, and the mind rushes to label and even personalise it - as if it actually says something about 'me'. We then often retreat into the head, to get away from the bodily feeling. Sound familiar?

But if you just observe the raw sensation as it arises, and disregard the storyline the mind invariable comes up with to explain it, it can draw us deeper into this moment and presence, rather than whatever mind-made narrative arises reinforcing our identity - however subtly.

What is actually there - without the story the mind spins about what the sensation apparently means? An energetic contraction or vibration - nothing more. And yet we so often let this dictate our whole way of being!

I have recorded a short podcast episode about the universal experience of rejection, however big or small, and how it can be a gateway into 'radical wholeness' and belonging - and i'd love you to check it out and let me know your thoughts.