Hello friends.
In this article, I want to share 5 practical ways to stop struggling and find more ease and flow. Recently I have recorded a series of videos for my paid subscribers in which I have sought to show that if you pay close attention to our direct experience, and not our beliefs about experience, we can recognise that peace and fulfilment is our natural state. However, I understand that many people like to ‘do something’, and so here are five active practices that can help us gradually uncover more effortlessness.
Flex your attention
Attention is awareness placed onto an object. You can play around with this now by putting your attention onto the soles of your right foot for ten seconds, and then moving it to the soles of your left feet and back again. Just notice the feeling of subtle aliveness. By doing this, you withdraw attention from your thinking, and ‘play in the now’. Doing this on occasion throughout the day strengthens your ‘presence muscle’.
The wrinkly sock exercise
Do you hate the feeling of wrinkly socks (or similar)? If so, therein lies a gilt edged opportunity. If you can resist the urge to straighten your socks out, and instead become interested in paying close attention to the sensations of said wrinkly sock, while cutting the mental narrative about it being annoying, your experience can change. You can start to befriend mild discomfort, which comes in handy when more over discomfort comes along - as it surely will.
Saying ‘yes’ to experience
When something happens that we don’t like, we resist it. We basically say an inner ‘no’ to reality. Look around the room now, and put your attention on various objects, and say ‘no’ to them in your mind. Next, do the same thing with the same objects, but say an inner ‘yes’. You will likely notice a slightly different texture to your experience. Then, when you next feel discomfort, boredom, anxiety or anything like that, try saying ‘yes’ to it in your mind. Lean into it, and notice how it has a slightly different hue to it.
Urge Surfing
Here’s a good one: next time you have an urge to do something, scroll on your phone for example, pause. See if you can ‘surf the urge’ for as long as possible. What sensations, thoughts and feelings are present? Become interested in them. Investigate them. What are they made of? Where are they located and where are their boundaries? Again, this can completely change your experience while simultaneously increasing your ability to recognise your ‘infinite capacity to accept’.
Do things at half speed
Do you always feel somewhat rushed? I know I can. We are conditioned to feel that unless we are being productive, we are wasting time. To counter this deep-rooted myth, here is an idea: actively try doing things at half speed, whether it be walking, eating or anything else. Your mind may react in horror or disbelief, but stick with it, and start controlling the mind, rather than have it continually control you!
I discussed these ‘techniques’ in a recent two-part podcast episode which you can find here and here.
Before I go, I just want to briefly talk about an exciting event that I hope you will consider joining me at, called Happier Life Lessons. Tomorrow night, at 7pm on Tuesday April 17, I am excited to be giving a talk for the wonderful Action For Happiness charity. Previous speakers include the Dalai Lama, Ruby Wax, Mo Gawdat, Laurie Santos, Andy Puddicombe, Rangan Chatterjee, Matthieu Ricard, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Sian Williams, Oliver Burkeman and Arianna Huffington, so I am in esteemed company. I hope to see you there!
Realising I was "saying no" to experience was a breakthrough for me. Things started shifting since then.
Hi Simon, like your thoughts re: “pay close attention to direct experience, and not beliefs about experience.” If they are only beliefs then the mind still wants to do something!